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Main StoragePatrick Wolf
July 16, 2002
One of the most satisfying things in life that one can have is to have ones own place. Whether it is renting an apartment or duplex, or buying a house, it’s nice to have something, some place to come home to. Since everyone likes to have a place to go after work or school, most everyone has his own living quarters. Sometimes things come up to where a person no longer can afford to stay there, or they are no longer allowed to live there for whatever reason. Now this person has nowhere to go, but they do know that you have a place and they suddenly have the urge to want to stay at your place. Taking in a roommate can help with the bills, but aggravating circumstances are always imminent. Deals can be worked out and arrangements can be made, but when that person doesn’t feel like living up their end of the bargain, action must be taken.
In the recent months, I’ve known that one of my friends and his wife have been having problems. I found out in an odd and casual manner one night that things have escalated between them when I called their house and his wife answered. In a silly kid’s voice I asked if he could come out and play. She responded that he couldn’t. I continued with a more whining tone of voice, “Please.”. That’s when she said that she was serious and informed me that my friend is now in Texas. Returning to my normal voice I said something and it was apparent that I have obviously missed something in the conversation. She explained that she has filed the papers for divorce. Extremely angry at this I hung up the phone. A few minutes go by and she calls back, leaving a message on my machine. It was something along the lines of, “I think my phone died. Give me a call back.” The only thing I could think of was, “No, you’re phone didn’t die. I hung up on your ass!”
Later that week, I had a message on my answering machine from my friend who now is in Texas. He explained things a little further. To put it succinctly, while he was still up here he injured his leg somehow. One day he was in bed taking it easy, his wife came in and told him to get out. So one thing leads to another and he’s in Dallas for a few weeks, at which time he goes to the hospital for his leg. He also told me that due to Missouri law, he can not live out of state during the divorce proceedings. I’m no expert on Missouri divorce laws, so I’m taking his word concerning this. I’m also starting to get the feeling he’s about to ask something. I could already predict, without consulting Miss Cleo, what was about come out of his mouth, and sure enough he asked, “Can I stay at your house for a little while?”
I’ve never had a roommate before and I have told people, “No”, including my best friend. Since I felt this was a semi-emergency I said, “Yes, but you pay half the mortgage and mow the yard.” I’m not even asking him to pay half the bills. As far as I’m concerned he’s not going to find a deal this sweet in the entire Kansas City area.
The first day he got here, I told him the yard needed mowed. Four days later, he got around to mowing it. The first couple weeks back, he was out job hunting. This was a good thing because how else is he going to pay me. After a couple weeks the yard needed mowed again, and I put a note on the television indicating such. He obviously saw it because he took the note off, most likely to watch television without that nasty little obstruction. After a couple days go by and I made a verbal remark about cutting the grass, my friend said he’d do it. I work the graveyard shift and when I got home in the morning, the yard still was not mowed. Both neighbors on either side of my house mowed theirs recently, so my yard is now sticking out like a sore thumb. I change clothes and proceed to mow the yard myself before the blistering summer heat was in full force. Did I do the right thing, or did I just make it evident that if he doesn’t mow the yard, I’ll do it? That’s a topic that could be debated, but I came to the conclusion that I am not going to have my yard be the one that looks like trash because my roommate is too lazy to perform simple responsibilities.
He can feel free to be lazy, but that doesn’t come without consequences. Deciding on how I should deal with the situation, I decided to utilize the Major League Baseball rule: Three strikes and you’re out. That night while I was at work, my cell phone rang. It was my friend. “Why’d you mow the yard? I told you I would do it in the morning. It was on my list of things to do.” What he didn’t seem to understand was that it was already on my list of things that needed to be done. “Strike One”. He appeared to get a kick out of this, because he just chuckled. This is not anything for me to worry about. I’m not hurting for money, so I don’t need a roommate to make ends meet. I’m just a considerate guy who lets a friend stay at my place until he gets back on his feet. I told him that he can expect me to remind him in two weeks that the yard needs mowed.
A couple weeks went by and I put a note on the television telling him to mow the yard. He said this time he’ll do it. Once again, I did not see the yard mowed. To make things worse, he was with his dad, and they both went to the Kansas Speedway. “Strike Two”.
The only thing keeping me from completely kicking him out after that stunt is that he did pay up when my mortgage was due. Recently he’s been staying elsewhere, but his personal belongings are still at my house. The yard will need to be mowed soon, so I’m just curious as to how fast he’ll be jumping to accomplish this task. Or will he find time to be tired after a long day at work. Whichever option he decides, he will have his own set of problems and solutions to contend with. If he mows the yard, he stays another two weeks. If he doesn’t, I’m tossing his things on the curb for the garbage man to pick up and he becomes homeless. Problem solved.
There is only one more feasible solution to this. He and his wife patch things up and stay together for their children. If there weren’t kids involved, I don’t care if they split up and get a divorce. In the meantime, he thinks he can still be a real dad, even though he’s never around them. I haven’t told him, of course I didn’t presage it either, but his kids are not going to be staying extended periods at my house. That will be extra rent money.
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